Pour It Out.

I need to tell someone something. Can't tell everything personally cause I'll sound like a whiny kid. So thank you, emo blog.

After training last Tuesday (17/7/2012), I went home and didn't sleep a wink. I had to finish up my Economics assignment which was due the next day. Thought I could squeeze in one or two hours of sleep just before daylight, but it didn't work.

So after state training, I went back home, bathed and was feeling dead sleepy. Took Neslo (just cause I think pure coffee is too bitter) and forced myself to stay awake. Encouraging words to myself were repeated over and over again. I tried listening to pump songs to keep myself awake. Finally, I felt the effects of the caffeine kicking in. Although I felt it wasn't enough, I couldn't wait for it to fully affect me because it might not happen. (I have this thing with Mountain Dew which is packed with caffeine.. I go to SLEEP after drinking Mountain Dew. All the time. Thankfully, coffee does wake me up).

Charged on with my work (last minute as usual, but it's cause I work best under pressure; nonetheless, i should change my ways.) I couldn't start as early as I wanted to, because suddenly, five people come up to me and start talking to me about their emo life. I couldn't bear turn them away, because I knew I would want someone to be there for me during the tough times. Advised and talked, talked and advised till about 1+. ANYWAY, after slogging a whole night, I finally went to school a zombie, and handed up my work. Managed to sleep for about two hours before class at 3.

Came back home, dropped dead as soon as I could. Slept around 1 on Thursday and Friday too, talking to some people and watching The Glee Project 2.

Slept as early as I could on Friday night, 11-ish because I knew Saturday would be one of the longest days of my life.

Woke up at 6 on Saturday, drank milk and had pasta with cheese. And guess what, I lao sai-ed twice after that. Like really really bad lao sai that my butt hurt. Called Le Anne who overslept, and headed to Balik Pulau for the match against Innebabes.

It did not feel good, body was feeling extremely weak, my hero Pei Li didn't play and I couldn't give my very best. After the match, bathed and immediately went to Batu Ferrighi for IA Games. The moment I stepped on the field, I had to play captainball since we had very few girls. Natalie and Yi Xin had been playing all the way, and poor Nat even got heat stroke.  :(

So IA Games went on till about 5-ish and we finally left. Went to Blackball with Zac, Natalie, Yi Xin, Ai Lyn and Vei Juan. Laughed our butts silly during the 'lizard' incident. :D

And finally went to Kayu for dinner with Zac and Vei Juan.  :)

Reached home, bathed and slept around 10 / 11 +.

Woke up at 8 on Sunday for church. Reached home at 1+, and finally fell asleep after much effort at 2+. Woke up around 6 and went for dinner.

Economics presentation was due the next day and since I had no time to do any work over the weekend, I finally got to doing it till 4 /5 in the morning.
Woke up at 7 as usual, zombie-fied.

And that was Monday, yesterday. At night, read only a little bit of IT as the migraine kicked in. It was really bad and my head felt so heavy. What with my weak body and all.

Had class at 8 again this morning, stayed back to do IT project in college after classes and reached home at 3. Body ache went on since morning. Couldn't really focus in class because it felt so bad. Managed to slot in about 30 minutes of sleep, and woke up feeling dead. Literally. Dead. Dead tired, dead hungry, body ache to the max.

Makan-ed, went for training. During state training just now, my body ache was at its highest. Now I understand what it was. It was Pre-menstrual body ache. And I had my Pre-menstrual cramps and contractions. Dead painful, felt like vomiting.
Had to keep shutting my eyes and telling my self that it was alright, and that everything was going to be okay. Fell down, grazed my fingers and got a blister on the toe. But at least I tried finished the physical work out at the end.

Came home and just felt like crying. The warm water in the shower was so soothing I wanted to just stay in the shower till morning. Shivering like crazy.

And I have to read Maestro now, for fear of not being able to produce for the English group work tomorrow.

Ranting. Pattern banyak. But I feel so bad I just needed to let it out, to let someone (if any who read the whole thing through) know about it.

I feel like crying now. Seriously.