Mental Torture.

Have to learn to channel all the positive energy I have in the right way.. If there is any at all.
Because currently, I am drained of all possible positive energy in my system. There is nothing left to offer, nothing left in me to give anyone.

All the goals scored today, I didn't celebrate or smile at all. Why? Like I said, because I'm mentally drained. Experiencing fatigue. My mind is so tired that I cannot smile without half forcing it.

Who sucked all the energy out? I ask myself the same question.

One thing remains, I will never be good enough. People never remember the good things. They always remember the bad things, the mistakes, what you did wrong.

Is that fair? You ask me.

"And you're, sitting in the front row,
 Wanna be first in line,
Waiting by my window, 

Giving me all your time,
You could be my hero,

If only I could let go,
But his love is still in me,

Like a broken arrow."

..............................

'What the s***  you playing?' he asked me. 

I didn't answer. Looking down, I made my way to the tables.

And then it burst out. I was already scarred and wounded, and he poured acid on my wound. Whimpering and sobbing, I retreated outside of the building to cry.

To lick my wounds, to let it out, to channel my frustration and disappointment. 

Tormented, hurt and burdened.  

Did he have to mentally torture me like this?