JC.

I miss you. I miss times we Skyped.

I miss the laughter we shared. I miss just knowing there was someone there in front of me.

Just feeling another person's presence, someone who silently listens and cares. 

And even if it wasn't extremely deep, at least I didn't hurt you, and you didn't have to bear my hurt. 

Because it hurts me when I know someone who cares for me is hurting too. 

And that his hurt is due to my faults.

...

This is so tiring. Sometimes, thoughts cross my mind and I feel like it's too hard. 

Why do I keep holding on? Why do I push on.

Do I strive to please him? What are the reasons for continuing?

Do I just silently bear the irrational hurt so that I don't hurt him instead? 

I am so hurt, tired and broken.

LORD, please help me; please help us.